I've wanted to be a mom for the longest time. I was sort of ready for it years before I found the right guy to complete the picture and be the dad in the equation. I wrote "sort of ready" because in my early to late 20's my readiness was more in thought, but I guess I never really stopped to think about everything that being a mom entails, because if I had I'd probably come to the conclusion that I'm not so ready...
When I was pregnant with Noam I used to day dream about being a mom, fantasizing what it would be like, what kind of a mother I would be, would I be any good at it. towards the end of my term I think I was somewhat freaking out that perhaps I wouldn't be a good mom, I wouldn't know what to do, I won't be able to juggle everything, and I will be the worst mom ever. I'm sure that happens to many first-time-moms...
Although my someone and I are kind of laid back as first-time-parents and we don't take everything so serious, in the beginning we had our moments of freaking out not knowing what to do with this new (amazing) creature. Our early days with Noam were pretty much like a roller-coaster ride, going from one moment of cruising through things, managing to do everything right and keeping Noam calm & happy, then things flip completely to Noam crying in our arms and we have no idea what to do. But we got the hang of things. We got to know Noam and he got to know us, and we eased into a somewhat comfortable family life.
Noam's almost 1.5 years old (my big boy!), and I find myself pausing for a moment every now and then & smiling. I smile because, if I may say so without seeming too full of myself, I am doing pretty well as a mom. I've managed to maintain my Photography business as a full time job (more like round the clock, but as a freelancer I get to spread my work time as I please), I spend a lot of quality time with Noam, I (kind of) manage to keep a clean and organized home, and I try to make as many home-cooked meals as I can (my trick is to make large portions and refrigerate left-overs).
I've come a long way from that 20 something single clueless young woman thinking how cool it would be if I were a mom already... I'm a happily married 30 something mom of one amazingly bright little boy!
from my Instagram photos: